


Six Feet Off The Ground

by Alltheshrinks



Series: Infidelity Verse [12]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Gay Sex, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:08:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26324653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alltheshrinks/pseuds/Alltheshrinks
Summary: Jensen apologizes.The song is Apologize by Timbaland
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Series: Infidelity Verse [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886815
Comments: 20
Kudos: 33





	Six Feet Off The Ground

**Author's Note:**

> All of these verses are stand alone and can be read separately, though it is helpful to read the others. The only thing you need to know is that J2 are married to other people, but have had an on again, off again relationship for almost their entire adult life.
> 
> Comments make me insanely happy, I love engaging with all of you. Follow me over on Twitter @tltm78

It has been two whole weeks since Jared has had any contact with Jensen, which sadly is not the longest time span that the other man has gone radio silent on him.When the other man had left the hotel room, Jared decided to give him some much-needed space. He can't keep getting sucked back into this when he has his own life and responsibilities to take care of, but he can't stop the pit in his stomach caused by Jensen's impending spiral downward.

Currently, Eli is sitting in his booster seat at the table and methodically separating his Skittles by color. The three-year-old will then eat them, from lightest to darkest until they are all gone and Jared never tires from watching his son do the unorthodox things that his child is prone to. Jared knows that he will likely be an outcast and struggle, but how anyone can think that is a disability, he will never know. His son is not disabled, he is just different, and different is not a bad thing.

" _Whatcha doing?" Jensen sits down next to Jared on the bleacher of the football stadium. It is incredibly warm out for the early spring afternoon and Jared had finished his laps early and was now leaning back against the metal of the seats, his notebook on his propped up knees._

_Jensen is careful not to sit too close, they still don't know what this thing between them is, if Jared is being completely honest, he never wants to name it. Because if they name it, it will become too real and Jensen is adamant that he is not gay. Hell, the teen is so far in the closet, he's the mayor of Narnia._

_"What's funny?" Jensen asks, running his fingers through his sweat damped hair. The warm sunlight reflects off of the older boy's face, green eyes almost shimmer and Jared thinks that the color doesn't occur naturally. It isn't the first time that Jared has thought that maybe the other boy was not entirely human. He could be an alien from a distant galaxy or perhaps Fae. Jared has spent a lot of time on the Fae theory; it would explain those iridescent irises and Jared's complete capitulation to the whims of the teen. He can never tell Jensen no._

_"Earth to nerd boy," Jensen waves his hands in front of the other youth’s face, noticing the spaced out and dopey grin on his best friend._

_Jared shakes all of his daydreams about the Seelie Court and of Jensen being a Faerie Prince, trapped in the mortal world until he finds his true love, which of course is Jared. "Um, it's the housing forms for college in the fall, the deadline is next week." Jared holds up the questionnaire, that lists his preferences and habits so that they can match him with a roommate with similar attributes._

_Jensen takes the folded packet out of his hands, and skims the contents, "Are you an early riser or a night owl?" he looks up at Jared, the mischievous glint in the other boy's eyes is practically sinful and it stops Jared's heart in his tracks. "I'd say you are a pretty early riser."_

_Jared feels his dick pulse in his loose, but incredibly thin running shorts and wiggles against the unforgiving harden of the seat. He hates that Jensen can do this to him with just a look or an off the cuff innuendo that slides out of his mouth like a silver-tongued snake oil salesman. "Give it back," he grabs at the paper, which Jensen relinquishes his hold on without a fight._

_"So, you really going to California?" The earlier sparkle in his friend's eyes has dimmed considerably and he has dropped all pretenses of joking around, which Jared appreciates. He and Jensen are either roasting each other alive with fork-tongued barbs or ripping each other's clothes off, there is no in-between. Which would suit Jared just fine if he thought that they had a snowballs chance._

_He curtails the line of thinking where he imagines himself and Jensen together with adopted children of every nationality, living in a bungalow somewhere in the tropics and existing on papaya and seafood. It is so ridiculous that he almost starts laughing again. Instead, he clears his throat and picks his pen back up. "Yeah, I need to get out of Texas."_

_Jensen only nods, understanding all too well what kind of hellish situation it would be to have to stay here, knowing how different you are. He wishes that things were different, alas, they are not and he doesn't waste time on letting himself wish for impossible dreams and reaching for unattainable stars._

_"What about you? Still staying in Texas?" Jared only speaks to fill the suddenly awkward silence that hangs between the boys like a dense fog does on coastal towns._

_"Yeah, that's the plan." Jensen suddenly gets really quiet, his brow furrowed and his plush bottom lip gets sucked into between the perfect enamel of his incisors._

_"What?" Jared knows that his friend has something on his mind, biting his lip is the biggest tell that Jensen has._

_"Jessica is having a party Friday night and I said we'd go," the way that he says it makes it almost sound like they would be going together and that is hilarious to Jared. "What is so funny?" Jensen smacks the other boy's arm, but not hard enough to hurt._

_Jared covers his mouth with his hands, "It sounded like you just asked me out on a date. Can I wear your jacket? How about your class ring? Are we going steady now?" Jared overlooks the way that Jensen's eyes get wide and he scans the area to make sure no one heard him. Things might be getting better, but they are still in the very conservative Bible Belt._

_"Jessica asked me to be her date and her cousin is coming in from Oklahoma," Jensen doesn't get all of the words out before Jared starts stuffing his belongings into his bag._

_"No," he doesn't even lookup. He refuses to be a distraction for the very beautiful, but very bitchy head cheerleader’s probably ugly cousin. Besides, Jared isn't sure that he even likes girls that much. They are fun, but it normally depends on the individual and not their gender that he gets attracted to._

_"Come on Jared," Jensen wheedles, the tone of his voice getting all needy and desperate. "Do me a solid."_

_Jared picks that moment to look up, Jensen's eyes so bright and hopefully that it nearly stops Jared's heart in his chest. Those green eyes of his are so beguiling that Jared thinks of the Fae again and refuses to be pulled in by the glamour. "No, giving you my homework to copy when you were sick? That's solid. Hell, that hand job two days ago? That is a solid. What you are asking for is not a solid. Besides, I don't even like girls."_

" _What are you talking about? You dated Sandy for a year, you're bisexual," He falls into step behind his best friend on the stairs of the stadium._

_"I don't know how to explain it to you, it just is," Jared says, lengthening his strides. He is still burning up from practice and instead of showering at school, he thinks he can just do it at home._

_"But you are bisexual, I don't get why it is an issue," Jensen is pleading now, his tone now sounding like a spoiled child rather than a man of barely eighteen._

_Jared halts his steps and then scans the immediate vicinity, making sure they are alone, "Let me ask you something, you think you're straight, right?" Jensen starts to protest, to adamantly deny any other narrative, and Jared waves it off, "Let me finish. You think you're straight, but are you attracted to every female you see?"_

_Jensen gets thoughtful, letting the denials die on his tongue, "No, of course I'm not." If Jensen is completely honest with himself, he doesn't find that many girls hot at all; he assumes it is because he grew up with all of the girls here._

_"Then I'm not attracted to every warm body on the planet, either." Jared starts off in the direction of the student parking lot._

_"Jared? I'm sorry," Jensen follows after him, hoping that this doesn't look as ridiculous as it feels. "I didn't mean anything, I swear."_

_Jared knows that his best friend was not trying to hurt him;_

_but the sting is still there, burrowing down into his chest and taking up roost in the hollowed out space where a piece of his heart that belongs to Jensen breaks off. Jared imagines pock marks that look like heavy weapons fire on the hull of a ship, marking all of the wounds where Jensen has taken a shot at it._

_Jared unlocks the door, ignoring the pleading looks from his best friend over the roof of the car. “You need a ride?” Jared leans over and unlocks the passenger side door for the other boy._

_Jared starts the car and turns the radio up loud as it will go, he doesn't want to talk to Jensen at all right now, but especially not about this._

_The drive only takes minutes, Jensen’s family live in a very nice home that they probaly couldn'tafford otherwise. The parsonage is located in a nice neighborhood that is only a few blocks from Jared’s own home._

_Jared leaves the engine running as he puts it into park to allow the older boy to get out. The silence hangs heavy between them until there is a knock on the driver’s sid_ e _door. Jared rolls his window down to Olivia_ _Ackles, who is dressed modestly in a floral dress, holding the mail in her hand._

_“Hi Mrs. A,” Jared turns the full force of those dimples on the unsuspecting woman. She beams back, that bright, toothy smile that definitely is where Jensen gets it._

“ _Hello there, Jared,” is her chipper response. “Jensen, where are your manners? Invite Jared in for dinner, I have a pot roast in the oven._

_“Oh I can’t stay, Mrs. A, I told my mom I’d be home for dinner tonight,” Jared lies cooly, his mother doesn’t care what he does as long as he calls her._

“Oh, well in that case, tell her I said hello.” Jared waves to her as he rolls his window up.

Eli smack a chubby fist on the table signally that he is done with his candy and Jared deposits another handful in front of the hyper toddler.

Jared tries to shake away the thoughts of how he had gone to the party and had hung out with Jessica’s cousin,Adrienne, who was neither ugly or boring; or how absolutely heartbroken he was when the news about Jensen and the head cheerleader had been having sex. To this day, Jensen maintains that he lost his virginity to the girl and Jared just holds his tongue.

For their whole lives, Jensen has been Jared’s anchor, keeping him from blowing away like a balloon in a tornado. The older of the pair has always grounded him, staying a step behind when Jared feels his own turmoil lifting him off the ground like helium; Jensen’s two feet planted firmly on the earth.

Jared feels his phonevibrate in his pocket, he takes it out expecting an email or a text from Jake, not the short phrase he sees.

**I’m sorry :(**

Jared feels another chunk of his heart break off and sail away in the ocean of tears that he has cried for Jensen. He imagines the older man typing the succinct sentence out and then deleting it several times before returning to the original message. It is just how he works.

Jared swallows the lump in his throat, sliding his finger over the message to delete it. He wonders what the other man would say if he were to type back that it was too late to apologize. It doesn’t matter, because Jared knows it won’t ever be too late. Not for Jensen.


End file.
